The Middle East Feast

T-Town Latin

My First Boyfriend

He was 16 yrs. old and I was 14 when we first met. He noticed me from the Burger King counter as he was giving out “those shakes with them fries” and I was spending my typical Friday night looping around the mall. He was tall and skinny with bright eyes and the cutest smile. He impressed me enough that I let him drive me home, (I’m sure his black Audi also had something to do with it). 

We spent several months making out in before I made the decision to give up my virginity.  Remarkably, it wasn’t because I loved him, in fact if I had to rate my feelings for him on a scale of 1-10, and 10 was being in love then my feelings were about a 7.  He was sweet, equally innocent despite his skewed bravado and I thought he would be the perfect person to experience my first time with.

I still can’t believe at 15 yrs. old, I had the fortitude to call my mother and ask her to take me to the doctor’s for birth control. I guess you could say between my selection process and my formulated plan, this was the beginning of my life as a closet freak.

We lasted for about 4 years which included a few break-ups but we never spent more than 3 months apart. He even proposed and bought me a decent engagement ring during our last year together but it came to end when I realized that I needed to explore and I didn't want to settle with my first amongst other things.

I've seen in him only a handful of times since we broke up. He's now a father and although not married, he's been with the same girl for many years.

Pimpled Face Jew

I met him at school. He was a scrawny, pimple-faced Jewish boy from Yonkers and I was 15 yrs. old and bored.We dated for less than 4 months and I took his virginity while I was also dating my first boyfriend.

We broke up because he was a jerk and cheated on me because my mother wouldn't let me go with him and his friends to Great Adventures.

I contacted him shortly after I broke up with my first boyfriend during my senior year of High School. I invited him as my date to prom but I had to take it back after my mother refused to pay my portion of prom because she was afraid he would ruin the photos. Oh it's funny now, but neither he or I thought it was back then. My mother ultimately broke us up with her constant nagging and her secret phone call to his mother pleading for her help to end our relationship.

During my first year of college I contacted him again and we hooked up a few times but never formed a relationship like the one we had when I was in High School.

The Wigger

WIGGER, (defined by urban dictionary):

A male Caucasian, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "Bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles.

Often characterized by his car, or "whip": usually an econobox modified with at least twice the car's book value in non-power producing modifications or an SUV with at least 5500 lbs. of curb weight. Traditional trucks can also qualify here, depending on locale (southern states' percentages are higher). All vehicles are also mandated to have at least 19" chrome alloy wheels, regardless of make. The typical wigger is also characterized by a strong desire to adorn gold jewelry (especially heavy gold chains) and athletic warm up suits. All equipment and clothing will be paid for by the parents of the individual in question, or the parents of said individual's "shorty" through the use of said shorty's credit cards.

A general disposition of "hard" will be displayed among other wiggers and to kids around their neighborhood (usually labeled a 'subdivision' or 'gated community' due to its mass produced housing development origins). This disposition will immediately be dropped and replaced by a more typical "white boy" disposition when in the presence of actual African Americans ( with exceptions: Those whose origins trace to the suburbs being the most prominent.).